My Transformation

 Six years ago, when that picture was taken I would spend 3-4 hours in the gym a DAY trying to "get lean". Events leading up to the first photo, along with over-training and how I was eating did a complete number on my endocrine system. I thought I was doing everything right, exercising hard, listening to the trainers in the gym about lifting heavier, longer, and eating tons of protein, but I was wrong. 

Earlier Diet & Exercise Habits:

• Franken-Food Meals--nothing but "diet" foods and fad diets
• Very High Protein, Low Carb Foods
• Extreme Exercise Routines with minimal rest (over 3 hours a day)
• Over-eating episodes due to extreme, over-exercising, and restricting calories
• Diet Pills--everything ever on the market

 I think I was a perfect example of someone who's body thought it was in a "war." The stringent dieting and extreme exercise patterns and lack of rest prompted my hormones get off balance, holding onto extra weight, not knowing how much "energy" it was going to need for my next battle workout and confused by all the diet "non-foods" I was consuming.

The Endocrine Disruptor 

 2004 Workouts & Diet:

Weight: 139

(would fluctuate through the years anywhere from 118-140)

Exercise: 6-7 Days/Week, 2x per day (3-4 hours/day)

Typical Day:

Cardio: 90 + minutes/ Day

Weights: 90 + Minutes/ Day

Stretching--Non-existent

(funny thing was, I was a "new" trainer, and worked for a rehab doctor...and I would NEVER advice clients to workout as much as I did; Young, stubborn and still recovering, I thought the rules did not apply to me, I suppose. I was determined my behavior would bring me back to my high school weight, what I put my body through over those years did just the opposite.)

Previous Diet:


In the years prior (to gaining so much weight), my diet was very restrictive and I had a very unhealthy relationship with food. Every Calorie, Gram of  Carbs, Fat & Protein, and Sodium were recorded most of the time, whether it was for my purposes or while I was in treatment...all the years of damage and abuse that I put my body through resulted in a pretty screwed up metabolism.

A fluctuating scale and very unhealthy habits with a diet full of frankenfoods and an insane exercise routine...


Welcome to Diet Food/ Chemical City:

The Zone, South Beach, Weight Watchers  Philosophy....Lots of Myoplex Shakes, Bars, Only bread I ate was Low-Carb, "Light" Arnolds Whole Wheat Bread;  Everything had to be 'Low-Fat', 'Fat-Free', 'Low-Sugar' "Low-Carb" on the package...Lean Cuisines, South Beach Wraps, Sugar-Free, Low Fat Ice Cream --with extra chemicals for dessert, Skinny Cows, would never DARE to eat a dessert at a restaurant, ever. Pasta did not cross my lips through the years1997 and 2005.  I think I would break down and eat too many of my "diet foods" when I was starving from all the insane exercise I was doing. Mindless eating...overloading on processed protein....sugar alcohols and sodium from frozen "diet" foods.

Alcohol Consumption:  would go out 2-3 nights a week for heavy cocktails





Then, I woke up from the world of GMO's and Fad diets.....and Over Training.....



Today:

 2006-2010 Workouts & Diet:

Weight: 112  Doesn't really matter

(hasn't fluctuated in 4 years)

Exercise: 3-5 Days/ Week (try to do "something" most days of the week, my workouts consist of a lot more stretching, yoga, pilates, weight training, although important, is not nearly as heavy as before.)

Rarely spend more than an hour (and 15) in the gym

Cardio:

30 minutes (3 miles)/ day

Weight Training:

Varies: Full Body, Split Training, Upper Body, Lower Body, Core 2-3 Days Week, Rehab Exercises, Bosu, Body Weight, Balance, and so on..

and....

Yoga, Pilates and LOTS of Stretching

Diet:

No longer afraid of real food.


Whole, Organic/ Local Foods, Mostly Plants, Try to stay in-season... if I have a sweet tooth--Homemade baked goods, from scratch, or raw desserts;  the occasional irresistible gourmet dessert if Michael takes me somewhere fancy.

I don't count calories, I don't do diets, I don't do fasting cleanses, I recently  ventured into the world of semi-raw, vegetarianism...and I am MUCH healthier this time around. I will not do a full or high raw diet, I liked cooked food too much, and I get cold too easily...I listen to my body...I do not eat chemicals, GMO's, things that have "claims" ("fat-free, low-fat, low-carb"), and I don't obsess over food, at all, unless Michael won't tell me what he wants for dinner, then I obsess about what I should make his difficult toosh.

 Alcohol Intake (compared to before)-About as often as you would see a solar eclipse. Rare-Never....occasional glass of wine (or 2) at a nice dinner, or a few cocktails on vacay....usually the DD.


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 Behind the Story, How Exercise Addiction was the last phase before I fully recovered...

No Longer Ashamed....

I grew up in the 90's. Kate Moss and Calvin Klein Ads (with waify teen ads that would probably be illegal today) were posted on my walls. Fat-free and Low-Fat Diets were everywhere. Slim-Fast was the diet of choice (starve yourself, drink a shake, lose weight). Runway models started to look more and more like pre-pubescent boys. I was always a pretty thin kid, then, hormones happened.  Age 13 through Age 22 I had an pretty unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. My weight went up, and down, and up again. If I wasn't trying every fad diet, reading every diet book, or starving myself on rice cakes and diet coke- I was exercising 4 hours a day, binging and ..... The day before my sweet 16 I was admitted to The Renfrew Center for treatment for an eating disorder, where at the time, I did not believe I was "sick" enough to be. Looking back, as hard and ashamed as I was, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Although it took over 6 years to "fully" recover and finally be comfortable with myself, in my own skin...happily, now, food, exercise and I are B.F.F.--I don't abuse them, and they treat me with respect.

How I knew I was healed: If someone said to me that I looked "anorexic"  10, 7, even 5 years ago, I would jump for joy inside...today, if someone said that to me, or about me, I would take great offense. I take pride in the fact that I am healthy, and am not afraid to EAT! There's no anxiety when I "miss a workout." I don't spend hours in the mirror changing because of poor body image. And lastly, I am able to share my story with anyone out there without any shame, because I am proud of how far I have come!

My Goal:

Helping others feel good was one of the keys to my own well-being. I love what I do, it is the one of the most rewarding job's in the world. Exercise can be a healthy addiction...if the amount of time you spend doing it is healthy! There is nothing wrong with exercising every day, in fact, ACSM recommends doing at least 30 minutes of activity most days of the week. The point is, it does not have to be intense, long and grueling most days of the week (1 or 2 intense ones are OK).

I am the healthiest, happiest and look the best now, eating ENJOYING more whole foods....and allowing myself to eat WHAT I WANT if I want it! If I want the chocolate lava cake at the restaurant, I order it....and I don't exercise 4 hours the next day to try and "burn the calories." I try and exercise often, but never stress out over not exercising enough (although, anyone that workouts can relate to feeling like poo if miss a few workouts, this time around for me, it's more of a normal thing, and less of an anxiety thing).

All those years of working out like a maniac took a toll on my body, and I have been spending the past few years reversing some of that damage through stretching and rehab exercises. I still love me a good, intense workout...and I will workout hard, but it's not more than 20-30 minutes at a time. I've completely changed my mindset --

Exercise is for a healthy body and mind, it's not only about "burning calories" or getting "skinny."

--think this way, and you will never fail.